Month: February 2023

I have a rabbit’s foot that was my great great grandfather’s that was passed down to me. It’s a family hareloom.

Two sea monsters were swimming around the ocean, looking for something to do. They came up underneath a ship that was hauling potatoes. Bob, the first sea monster, swam underneath the ship, tipped it over and ate everything on the ship. A little while later, they came up to another ship, again hauling potatoes. Bob…

The ratio of an igloo’s circumference to its diameter = Eskimo Pi

1 millionth of a mouthwash solution = 1 microscope

The amount of time between slipping on a peel and smacking the pavement = 1 bananosecond

The weight an evangelist carries with G-d = 1 billigram

The time it takes to sail 220 yards at 1 nautical mile per hour = knotfurlong

365.25 days of drinking low-calorie beer = 1 Lite Year

Half a large intestine = 1 semicolon

1,000,000 aches = 1 megahurts

The basic unit of laryngitis = 1 hoarse power

2000 mockingbirds = two kilomockingbirds

8 nickels = 2 paradigms

Me: What’s wrong? Wife: You’re not supposed to say you have a favorite child. Me: Everyone does secretly. Wife: Well it should at least be one of ours.

Tomorrow is Groundhog’s Day. There’s so much hoopla about this whole event. I sure hope everyone gets their Phil.

My Punny Parody Movies- * Julie Andrews leaves Austria and takes a job running an elevator in the Empire State Building in “The Sound Of Muzac.” * Tom Hanks reprises his role as a simple man who leaves the shrimping business to start a blooming plants shop in “Florist Gump”. * Richard Dreyfuss is surrounded…